It’s sad to see a friend go. Earlier today I learned that my good friend Fritz has lost his battle with AIDS. This is only a short time after him losing his battle against male pattern baldness, which knowing Fritz, bothered him more then anything else. Fritz was a good com-padre. Some of his favorite things were Tea, Cell Phones, and the movie Philadelphia. Goodnight sweet prince.
Sorry for the lack of posts lately, it has been a trying couple of weeks due to Aunt Sara’s illness. One perk of going to the hospital 3 times daily to visit her was that I made a new friend. Keyson (pronounced Jason) is a single father that has been recently laid out after taking a spill at his local JoAnne fabric store. He’s a sweet man. When I was visiting, his son brought his father his favorite American Girl doll to keep him company. Fortunately, he (as well as Aunt Sara!) are feeling a lot better. Here is to wishing Keyson a speedy recovery!
Phillipe, my ex boyfriend, recently texted me the above picture. Much to my chagrin, something about this picture really raped my fanny. No, it isn’t his GIGANTIC muscles! It’s that he still has MY sunglasses from when we were dating! ::BITES COIN PURSE:: I never liked it when exes kept things of mine one we were broken up. Whether it be my pillow pet or my virginity, it is really unfair. I go out of my way to give all the items exes have bought me to the homeless, then I burn them.
My friend Bruce recently grew a mustache for “Movember” and even though the month is over, he just kept going! I’ve always been very envious of Bruce. He has the most gorgeous eyes and a smile to die for. He also has the personality of a walrus. Even though he was born with severe mental retardation, he remains resilient. You know, like a walrus.
Zoos are fun until someone pulls a groin muscle. That’s what Andre’s step brother Felipe said after dashing to get a look at the flying squirrels. As you can see, there were no flying squirrels present. In fact, most of the zoo animals were hiding. They had gotten sick thanks to some rotten teenager who thought it would be funny to throw soft drink bottles into several of the cages. ::SHAKES FINGER:: There’s nothing funny about abusing animals. Felipe agrees. And if you are wondering, he is doing better after using some icy hot on his netheregions.
Hector Valezquez-Polanski, Andre’s mother’s driver, was kind enough to pose for this photo. I don’t get along with her too well. I tell her that what she is doing is enslavement. She insists that she is giving a perfectly capable man a job. I don’t know. What do you think? She pays him in well wishes and half used gas cards. I know it’s not my place to complain, but I hope Hector can finally get his screenplay read by a big Bollywood agent to get the heck away from her. Haha sorry for the swearing
My neighbor Roy went to his first winter formal. He’s 19 and has struggled with his studies and girls. His first prom he was all alone. His girlfriend Cari dumped him. That’s when Roy got to work in woodshop class. He made a wooden version of Cari to take with him to the dance. He even used porcelin to make the skin shine. Then for some reason he gave her the same haircut as himself. Here’s to you Roy! You’re a good guy and my most frequent reader. Be careful of splinters.