Tag Archive | humor

R.I.P Fritz Johnson

It’s sad to see a friend go. Earlier today I learned that my good friend Fritz has lost his battle with AIDS. This is only a short time after him losing his battle against male pattern baldness, which knowing Fritz, bothered him more then anything else. Fritz was a good com-padre. Some of his favorite things were Tea, Cell Phones, and the movie Philadelphia. Goodnight sweet prince.

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Bad Medicine

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, it has been a trying couple of weeks due to Aunt Sara’s illness. One perk of going to the hospital 3 times daily to visit her was that I made a new friend. Keyson (pronounced Jason) is a single father that has been recently laid out after taking a spill at his local JoAnne fabric store. He’s a sweet man. When I was visiting, his son brought his father his favorite American Girl doll to keep him company. Fortunately, he (as well as Aunt Sara!) are feeling a lot better. Here is to wishing Keyson a speedy recovery!

Indian Giver

Phillipe, my ex boyfriend, recently texted me the above picture. Much to my chagrin, something about this picture really raped my fanny. No, it isn’t his GIGANTIC muscles! It’s that he still has MY sunglasses from when we were dating! ::BITES COIN PURSE:: I never liked it when exes kept things of mine one we were broken up. Whether it be my pillow pet or my virginity, it is really unfair. I go out of my way to give all the items exes have bought me to the homeless, then I burn them.

Bruce Juice

My friend Bruce recently grew a mustache for “Movember” and even though the month is over, he just kept going! I’ve always been very envious of Bruce. He has the most gorgeous eyes and a smile to die for. He also has the personality of a walrus. Even though he was born with severe mental retardation, he remains resilient. You know, like a walrus.

Unexpected Yule Tide Cheer

For the last 19 years I have been publishing a Christmas letter to update my friends and family on the year that has passed. They enjoy it as everyone enjoys each of those. A few others have shared in my tradition. Here is a the Walton Family, they grew up next door to me. From left to right there’s Kayla, Karen, Kamilla, Kordelia, Kimberly, Kacey, Kelsey, and Bo in the background. Their parents passed away when they were teens and they had to grow up without parents. It was sad, but it also meant some wicked high school parties. Muah guys! I miss you and hope the tragic memories of your parent’s New Year’s Eve death won’t be too much to bear in the coming week.

Pictionary Anyone?

My holiday travels have brought me to Belfast where I caught up with my old college roommate, Trish. Her family is great! They love their board games, especially ones based off of television shows, like Pictionary. It’s what they do because their television was stolen by the IRA. ::shakes fist:: Trish and her family play Pictionary different. They have the Irish version where everyone draws a picture and you pass it around to each other and give compliments. It’s less tense and fewer fights break out because of it. If you ask me, I prefer to play this way.

Christmas Traditions

Hanging around another family can be tricky around the holidays. You have to get used to their traditions. One of the stranger ones in Andre’s family is his adopted brother Nicholas likes to dress up like a woman. At first I didn’t realize Nicholas wasn’t a Nicolette. He’s a pretty convincing female. He even tried kissing me. It wasn’t until he revealed his breasts and I saw the skin of cantalopes that I knew it was all a gag. Speaking of gags, I can’t wait to see what Andre’s mom got me. Last year was a sweater of epic fail! lol